a candy coated dream
with parks and trees and figurines
and her arms wrap round my sleeve
with tiny steps and arms of green
toy guitar that's out of tune
eyes fixed on morning time cartoons
and by the lantern of the moon
i willl dream of a love like you

and will you hang up high
a family portrait smile
will you kiss my child
as she is dancing now?
this figure i will frame
a life without a name
but this thought i proclaim
i'm just romancing now
I'm only chancing now
a candy coated dream

With hearts and strings and angel wings
and her life will fall between
the cracks that follow you and me

will you hang up high
a family portrait smile
will you kiss my child
as she is dancing now?
this figure i will frame
a life without a name
but this thought i proclaim
i'm just romancing now
I'm only chancing now

Engine

For I am an engine and I'm holding on
Through endless revisions to state what I mean
For sweetness alone who flew out through the window
And landed back home in a garden of green

You're riding alone in the back of a steamer
And steaming yourself in the warm shower spray
And water rolls on off the round captain's belly
Who's talking to tigers from his cafeteria tray

And sweet babies cry for the cool taste of milking
That milky delight that invited us all
And if there's a taste in this life more inviting
Then wake up your windows and watch as those sweet babies crawl away
oh oh dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee

Oh Sister

Oh sister, don't be afraid of me
I won't be nailing you down in the nursery
Just like the rest of them did
With those watery, wandering fingers that slipped
That were supposed to be glorious and fine
Oh sister, won't you believe in me
I only wanted to be hard on your family
Here with you now in the zillionth infirmary
A mother makes frantic and drunk calls from Germany
All of the time
And oh sister
Sweet brown and comely
I will be be milking with you making fun of me
Now that my moods are not what the used to be
there is but no one alive laying next to me
for such a long time
Oh sister, sweet brown and beulahry
milk from your blisters on your grandmother's jewelry
there in the parlor all naked in front of me
Watching the lights from the cracks making archery animal designs

Rose Wallace Goldeline just moves her mouth over anything
Fleshy free and flowering with oranges out in the open
But don't you waste your sins again
She don't need you
or won't fuck your friends
And you, you're American, so important boiling over
Tto prove that she must still exist
she moves herself about her fist
and never ever ever give a shit
about all those words you're wasting again
Some pretty bright and bubbly wondrous dream
You'd like to kill and claim
And claim her as your own
But don't you worry
All those dainty and dirty emotions just go away and fade out on their own
Sister, now that we're grieving
Our fingers will falter
Our lungs will be leaking
All over each other and without even speaking
We'll know that it's over and smiling or greeting
Whatever comes next
And oh sister
You're getting married with some angry twister
That you'll have to carry home drunk every evening from the cemetery
And if he makes it back half alive you can bury him
Under your sheets
And oh sister
now that we're leaving
I can not imagine there is any meaning
forgetting you ever could once had the feeling that made you keep on
And pretend you were breathing of all of this world
In an age of empty rings
I don't want to feel the thing
I don't even want to know
and Rose Wallace Goldeline
don't you ever die on me
all the way it goes and flows

My Dream Girl

My dream girl don't exist
At the age of 5 she slit her wrist
She didn't know that I'd be hanging around
So her parents buried her in the ground
And this day I can still hear the sound
Of a life in outer space

My dream girl don't exist
Just you and I and this TV
And this illness seems to feel so strange
Like a henchmen that's about to hang
The moon up like a ball and chain
And set its sands ablaze

And the wait is waiting on
Build the world so real and strong

My dream girl don't exist
Just her photograph in a history book
And I believe she had a voice and name
Three children on the coast of Maine
Their life was in a hurricane
Of life and real embrace

My dream girl don't exist
At the age of 5 she slit her wrist
She didn't know that I'd be hanging around
So one day she took a stroll to town
And walked in front of a Greyhound bound
For New York central state

And the wait is waiting on
And the wait is waiting on
Build the world so real and strong
She goes and now she knows she'll never be afraid

Sailing Through

Sailing through your disease and you
Your disease and you
Your body's like a basket
Shivering in static
Ride this phase of angry tears
All those years you were alive inside the closet
With nobody in it there but me
But now you are coming
Your life is off running
Tearing itself apart at the seams

And you are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie
You are a liar
You are a liar

Now I'm off sailing
Sickness impaling
Every drop of blood you could bleed
The world is all coming
They're coming in millions
Billions of people to sick to believe
And I really wanted just to be in your body
To be in your body
To be inside you
And I really wanted just to be in your body
To share in your sickness
To shield around you

But you are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie
You are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie

Wrap you up in master
Cover you in plaster
Spit in your mouth and then say "I love you"
But is this supposed to save us?
Is this supposed to break us
And I really wanted just to be in your body
I really want to be in your body
I really want to be inside you
And I really wanted just to be in your body
To share in your sickness
To shield around you

But you are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie
You are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie
You are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie
You are a liar
You are a liar
You are a liar
And you are a lie

She Did a Lot of Acid

She had a mental problem
She couldn't concentrate
She was her own delusion
She was her own mistake
She did a lot of acid
That put the voices down
And one day at her birthday
They found her hanging upside down

They say she lived her life on the avenue
They say she cried from the weight of her spit
They claim they were the only ones that she ever knew
Ah, but why are they weeping now?
When she was alive they were not around
They were locked in their own abyss

We met in the gutter
We shared a smoke or two
I told about my mother
She showed me her tattoo
She went out through the city
Got lost in Fulton Town (?)
And one day at her birthday
They found her hanging upside down

They say she live her life an American
They say she whored away but still
They claim they offered her their helping hand
But the talk's all the same to me
They call themselves her family
It just makes me ill
 
 

Little Birds

Little birds born without a mother or a father
I can watch their bodies forming in the running water
Now there is another in the middle of my mouth
A hundred altogether within me now
Little bird, little bird come into my body

Mother, they're within me every moment I'm awaking
Bodies multiplying until they finally overtake me
Open up my mouth but all you'll ever hear is singing
Put you hand within me and you'll know what I'm feeling
I just want to swallow up and promise to protect them

Daddy come to touch me but he seen his hands are shaking
Look into my eyes and he could see their bodies breaking
Push me to the floor and in his hands I started beating
"I don't want to hear it anymore", he kept repeating
Do you really want the burning hell that we believe in?

Did you know the burning hell it took your baby brother?
Did you see how far he fell and how he made us suffer?
Another boy in town at night he took him for his lover
And deep in sin they held each other
So I took a hammer and nearly beat his little brains in
Knowing God in heaven could have, never could forgive him
So I took a hammer and I nearly beat his brains in

Little boy born without a father of a mother
Taken to the river and then pushed into the water
And the priests are singing that the hell is getting hotter
Father, Son and Holy Ghost, the only one to save him
From the thing he loves the most but we know will betray him
Father, Son and Holy Ghost, the only one to save him
From the thing he loves the most but we know will betray him

And here beneath the water I can see
How the lights distort so strange
And I think this is how I would like to leave my body
And start again

I Will Bury You In Time

I will bury you in time
When the sea begins to slide
Into this hole where I am smiling on your shoulder
You have buried my beliefs
Where all you sisters sleep
That their scent the purity will make
When the youth is over
Standing in some lost October

And I am breathing into you
It makes your features move
And they shimmer like balloons that fly above the ocean
All the world is waiting here
You can hear the children cheer
But they'll need you when you're near
The break a complete enclosion
Crown your king when your life is broken

Everything you are I'm tearing through
Everything you want I'm wanting too
I gave you more than I thought I could ever do
But I will never break you

And if I was the king of all the kids
You'd you hear me singing in my spit
But all you would hear is the shit inside my burst emotions
I will bury you in time
When the sea begins to slide
Into this hole where you and I will sing our songs unbroken
As the water starts its chokin'
dee dee dee dee dee etc.

Ferris Wheel on Fire

Well now first of all
We became what we always had feared
Every engine holds
All their oils on fire appeared
They finally broke through
And on your shoulder
This weight has been placed upon you
And everything we ever learned

Now I'm keeping stow
In someone's bright carnival ride
All the crowd just cheers
As the bolts break and metal collides
Spiraling through
And flying up all over the hills
And now everything's broken in two
And everything's way over

But now most of all
I am holding you under my skin
Watch these buildings fall
Watch as each weak resistance caves in
All over you all over
And now finally fading from view
Is everything we ever knew

Bucket

Shadows on my wall
They creep and crawl in burning white
They dream of waterfalls
Catching slow bright streams of light.

And life can be so weird
Bucket full of fear
But it's alright
I'm on an isle
And i've still got time to fly away

Shadows in my dreams
They're painting scenes of time with you
I'm hoping all these things
and the strength they bring will pull me through

And life can be so weird
Bucket full of fear
But it's alright
i'm on an isle
And i've still got time to fly away.

Glue (Gerbils cover)

She comes to me
Whenever I am locked inside my room
Buried in the tune that I call love

She sings to me, the words I cannot hear
But then, the melody's so clear it makes me cry
Her love is so beautiful
Her love is so real, it smells like glue

She's leaving me to find a place she never will call home
I stand shaking like a stone
And smile inside

She's calling me to come to her and curl inside her womb
I hear lies, acid too
But I won't die, the pain is so beautiful
The urge is so real, it smells like glue

And I will scream, she hears me
I will tell myself she loves me
And all the lies and fears
Will stick to me like glue

And I will scream, she hears me
I will tell myself she loves me
And all the lies and fears
Will stick to me like glue

Sinking Ship

Sinking ship, how long can you hold still, your illness spills against my face
Sinking ship how long can you hold still, look at you, feel the coming waves
A perfect Sunday portrait of my mother painting horses all alone
Of lovers and of leavers still believing they are free to come back home

ooooh
ooooh
ooooooooh

Sinking ship how long can you hold still your illness is all that you are
A portrait of my father as a baby sleeping underneath the stars
A small pill of forgiveness I am giving to myself, it's what I need
A small gift of fufillment I am hoping you will open and recieve

ooooh
ooooh
ooooooooh

Sinking ship how long can you hold still your illness fills this empty mirror
A portrait of you lover softly drowning in the warm waters of June
A perfect Sunday portrait of my mother sending signals through the drums
A portrait of my sadness finding shelter in the safety of my home

ooooh
ooooh
ooooooooh

Circle of Friends

Greet all your friends and they say hello
They tie all your ends until they tie
Yourself in again into something whole
Something secure and lost inside

I imply I'm away

All of the forces we uphold
And all of the dangers we escape
You wonder sometimes how long we'll hold
Till all of this anger shows its way

We embrace
Away
I'm OK
I'm OK
I'm OK

There are just some things we can't know
There are just some things you can't face
But I will secure myself in blue
and get this disease that you embrace

Embrace
and wait
Embrace
And wait

And beginning again takes so much time
And all of your friends come to watch you go
And as your machine pulls from the drive
You watch as their empty artics flow

Flow and blow
Flow away
Away
Away
I'm OK
I'm OK

Rubby Bulbs

I need to taste your voice in my mouth
I need to taste your voice in the air
And I need to feel your skin against all that I retch out
And feel your voice all over everywhere

I need to paste your skin around the mailbox
And hold the postman in your smile
I need to fill your lungs with smallpox
And fill the glow of a sick and distorted life

Beautiful baby
All filled with angels
Beautiful baby
All filled with angels
Beautiful baby
All filled with angels
Beautiful babies
All filled with angels

Unknown [Immediately proceeds Rubby Bulbs in the Aquarius show]

We are wrecking in your over (?)
We are swimming in your speakers
We are sticky stuck all over
Coming out from all your features
For free
For free

And I say I want inside you
Because there is nothing on the surface
But it hurts the holes that guide you
And all your holes that hold no purpose
For me
For me
 

Through My Tears
[also called Golden Leaf]

Watch the wind blow your cigarette smoke
through my window and out to the sky
this message sent, drilled into your heart
but now the ink will fade
before the night is through my dear

where were you when the cracks were forming
where were you when it all caved in
you were sleeping safe that morning
holding insecurities that burrowed underneath your skin
and fade away

all alone - another twisted moment's gone
that will never pass this way again
and through it all i thought there'd be some shred of hope
but faith i've found will do you in
and all the words that build into
a bridge of love between me and you
will stumble, crack and fail to fly
and now my only one, where have you gone
are you another heart that i must sing goodbye my dear

where were you when the cracks were forming
where were you when it all caved in
you were sleeping safe that morning
holding insecurities that burrowed underneath your skin
and fade away